Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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