what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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