Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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