the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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