I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hippo gnu deer
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
