i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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