so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
