remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Randomize
