It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
