I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
