My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
