is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
don't judge my taste in strippers
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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