We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
