he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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