Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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