Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
