he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
