You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize