What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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