I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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