no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
