I showed him my bush... on skype.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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