why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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