no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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