You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
