She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
