Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
