Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
