sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
