My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
