AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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