everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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