my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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