first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just blew my weed a kiss
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
