I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
