Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
