chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
