Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
