Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
