A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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