even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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