she woke up with a sticky ear
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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