Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
