I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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