remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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