i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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