Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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