Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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