But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
