We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
