I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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