I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
