I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize