Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
