i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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