But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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