; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
