Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The beer is more important than you right now.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
