why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
