i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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